Being a Christ follower or Christian doesn’t mean you are supposed to be a doormat. Jesus never allowed anyone to abuse him until he gave himself over to be crucified for our sins. So how did my understanding get so messed up? The answer is, you can only do what you know.
Your formation of boundaries begins at an early age from your messages, painful love and relationship experiences, and beliefs. If you are like me, and you have struggled to feel safe, loved, valued, like you belong, and you have a purpose, you will have weak or nonexistent boundaries. I didn’t know what a boundary was until I was in my mid-thirties.
I first learned about boundaries during a counseling session at an...
“I just want someone to take care of me.” This statement is a desire expressed by many women, but do they really understand what they are saying? The fantasies and the ways of the world have also played into this deceptive and destructive mindset. The truth is, as adults, we are each responsible for taking care of ourselves.
Whenever you give someone else the power to choose how you will be treated or taken care of, you are shrinking away from your responsibility as a disciple of Jesus. You are responsible for taking care of Christ’s temple, which is you. You are also in danger of allowing another person’s morals, values, ethics, standards, and spiritual beliefs to overshadow or corrupt yours. Being the unique person God created dissipates when you begin to slowly mirror the other person, just to be ‘taken-care-of.’
There is always a cost and a consequence for every choice we make. When we choose to use fantasy instead of learning how to create...
Every disciple of Jesus can learn how to use the four key aspects within Christ’s healthy boundaries in their life. I didn’t know about these aspects until I was fifty years old. However, you have the opportunity to jump ahead with his empowering knowledge and avoid spending years of pain with weak, unhealthy, or nonexistent boundaries.
Boundaries define you, and what is not you. They make you aware of where you end, and others begin. Boundaries are your inner protection for your heart, mind, emotions, body, and spiritual life. They create a safe space for you with Jesus to grow and to let others grow without unhealthy interference. Boundaries are for you. They are not a tool to use to manipulate or to control other people.
Jesus lived in the boundaries of always talking to God, his Father, before he spoke or did anything. This boundary...
Why do people need boundaries? If we only acted in Christ’s love twenty-four-hours a day, we respected and honored everyone, and if we were perfect, we wouldn’t need boundaries.
The facts are that we live in an imperfect human condition in a broken world until Jesus comes to take all of his disciples to heaven. God created us in limited bodies which are constrained by the laws of gravity, the consequences of our choices, and the fact that we will receive what we sow or give to others. Whether you are a disciple of Christ or not, you can’t escape living in this broken world and being affected by these laws.
God Created the First Boundaries
God established the first boundaries for Adam and Eve because they didn’t know they needed them. God set a boundary to protect their heart and mind from Satan, in the Garden of Eden. He told them, “not to eat of the fruit of the tree of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”
I took my first painting class as a sophomore in high school. I remember staring at the white canvas with my loaded paintbrush in my right hand. I wondered if I had any talent, as I watched my art teacher complete her first brushstroke, and I touched my brush to the canvas for the first time.
Within the first ten minutes of following my art teacher’s instructions, I realized I could paint. As the paint glided onto the canvas, I felt a new creative sensation overwhelm my mind and spirit. I would have never known about God’s gift of being able to paint pictures unless I had been willing to discover something new.
Learn What You Don’t Know
Even though we have ALL of Jesus inside of us when we accept him as our Lord and Savior, we don’t know that we’re responsible to work with him to learn how to love like he did and to mature our faith. We don’t understand that we must get to know him personally to learn how to live in his exceptional love. Our...
“99% of the mass of the human body is made up of the six elements: Oxygen, Carbon, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, Calcium, and Phosphorus.” According to Data Genetics. Every element was created by God, and he knew how much of each element to use and how to mix them as he knit you together inside your mother’s womb. The care God took to create people is also the care he took to choose the aspects of Christ’s exceptional love design. To help you see each aspect clearly, we’ll look at each one.
5 Elements of Christ’s Exceptional Love Design
Christ-Identity as a Child of God and a Disciple of Jesus. At your Salvation, you become a ‘new creation’ in Christ, and you received your Christ-identity. Jesus never forgot that he originated from God's love and God dwelled in him. Therefore, he never questioned his identity as God’s son. He knew or believed beyond any doubt that his position as God’s Son, and being loved unconditionally by God...
My quest to find pure love led me into three abusive Christian marriages ending in divorce. However, six years into my third abusive marriage, I began diligently studying God's word to figure out how I kept being deceived about love. His Scriptures and truth began to speak to my heart and open my eyes to his exceptional love design.
Learning the Truth
Jesus showed me how my broken love design was formed, and the lessons I had learned about love, relationships, and abuse throughout my life. He revealed how my faith and walk with him had given me strength and wisdom. However, I hadn’t learned about his exceptional love design or how to live in it.
As I worked with Jesus and he brought healing. He gathered all the shattered shards of my heart and life and formed them into a masterpiece of stained glass. What I thought was unfixable and unlovable has become many stories other people can relate to who are searching for pure love.
Jesus has shown me how to share my lessons and...
Is it possible to find perfect love in imperfect people? Absolutely, when we live in a progressive and intimate relationship with Jesus every day as his disciple!
God sent His perfect love down to earth in His son, Jesus Christ. Only God and Jesus are perfect. Therefore, they are the ONLY source of perfect love.
9God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. 10 This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. 17 And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. 18 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. 1 John 4:9-10; 16-18 NLT
The passages above tell us all...
Who hasn’t asked the question, why am I here? In our human condition and as we live in this broken earth, it’s easy to question your purpose for living. Especially when you feel unloved, without great value, and like you don’t belong.
When your ultimate needs have not been met in your childhood, it’s hard to see or believe you were created for your own unique mission. However, when you choose to become a disciple of Jesus, you have the opportunity to discover and live in your God-purpose. Let’s see three reasons why God made you.
3 Reasons God Created You
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Every day of my life was recorded in your book. (God’s Book of Life)
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed. Psalms 139:13-14, 16 NLT
Before the universe was spoke...
Where does your value originate?
Who is the perfect person to determine your importance, worth, and usefulness?
How would your mindset, dreams, and faith change when you KNEW and lived in your priceless value “in-Christ?”
What is Value?
The dictionary defines value as: held to deserve; importance, worth, or usefulness. Whenever you hear the word value, you often associate it with the words, self-worth, and self-esteem. The dictionary defines self-esteem as: confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect. Both definitions place you or other imperfect people as the one who determines your value.
Origin of Your Value
Because you’re not born knowing your value as the creation of God, you determine your value from your messages, beliefs, experiences, and the world’s ideals first. To know you are valued is one of your ultimate needs. When you don’t hear messages affirming your value, or you are treated with disrespect as you grow up,...