Every disciple of Jesus can learn how to use the four key aspects within Christ’s healthy boundaries in their life. I didn’t know about these aspects until I was fifty years old. However, you have the opportunity to jump ahead with his empowering knowledge and avoid spending years of pain with weak, unhealthy, or nonexistent boundaries.
Boundaries define you, and what is not you. They make you aware of where you end, and others begin. Boundaries are your inner protection for your heart, mind, emotions, body, and spiritual life. They create a safe space for you with Jesus to grow and to let others grow without unhealthy interference. Boundaries are for you. They are not a tool to use to manipulate or to control other people.
Jesus lived in the boundaries of always talking to God, his Father, before he spoke or did anything. This boundary protected his mind, heart, and spirit. He also ate and rested when he needed to, which included walking away from the crowds. Jesus also never allowed anyone to abuse him, (not persecution), in any way until he gave himself up to be crucified for our sins.
To help you see the four key aspects within Christ’s healthy boundaries, let’s look at the first two key aspects.
The second part of this key aspect is to draw a balanced boundary of loving others AS you love yourself. Loving yourself over others is arrogance and vain pride. Loving yourself less than others sets you up to be used, abused, disrespected, and dishonored.
When you dwell in the key aspect of these two greatest commandments as part of your boundaries, you create a place for you to stay close to Jesus. You empower yourself to keep God first in your life and to keep balanced in loving others AS you love yourself. These aspects empower you to live in Christ’s exceptional love and peace.
In healthy loving boundaries, you are free to say ‘no’ to others, and they respect your ‘no.’ Likewise, you respect other people’s “no’s.” In my life, I was told and taught at an early age that my ‘no’ didn’t matter because I had to respect and obey other people’s demands over my ‘no.’. I was told to be seen and not heard. I was also told, “God expected me to put others before myself in sacrificial love.”
As a child, you trust what your parents say. You subconsciously adopt their messages, and they become your beliefs, even if they are unhealthy. Some of your beliefs, like mine, can leave you feeling powerless even as an adult.
When you don’t have a progressive personal relationship with Jesus, and you don’t know God’s words of truth, the enemy will keep using your past untrue beliefs to deceive you. I share my struggles and revelations with you to help you see how important it is to find and destroy the deceptive messages and beliefs you still believe from your childhood.
What you believe about yourself, Jesus, and others determines the health of your boundaries. You can only use and do what you know. Without knowing Christ’s freedom to choose, you will be tempted to live in a mindset of rebellion or helpless imprisonment. Stand in your identity as a child of God and a disciple of Christ and live in your freedom to choose healthy boundaries. Unless you can say ‘no,’ there is no freedom.
The boundary you set in Christ’s love to protect your mind, heart, emotions, body, and spirit will say no to being disrespected, dishonored, or abused. You are responsible for making sure that Jesus living in you is treated with honor and respect. Don’t let the enemy or anyone else deceive you into believing that drawing and maintaining healthy Christ-centered boundaries are not important.
As disciples of Christ, we must be clear about his morals, values, standards, and love design to withstand the schemes of the enemy. We must use these healthy aspects of Christ’s boundaries to draw ours in his wisdom and strength. Once you know where you end and begin in Christ, you can thrive in his exceptional love. Jesus instructs us to be sure of ourselves, and this includes our boundaries. “All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” Matthew 5:37 NIV
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